On Preparing for Parenthood

Interrupting the honeymoon posts to discuss something that has been on my mind...

While I am excited to have a daughter and sew her lots of princess costumes, and, indeed, teach her how to sew, there are so many other skills and life lessons I want her to have. I think often about how we will raise her, who I hope she will be. Most of these are in the abstract, I don't care what sports she plays or job she takes, but I want her to have strength. I want her to be passionate, intelligent, hardworking, and kind. I want her to be a good person and do the right thing, even though it is so rarely the easy thing to do. And I feel that most of this is the job of the parents. Both in how they raise their child, but also in how they've raised themselves.

There has been a lot of talk about raising kids gender neutral. And I don't know about that, I want her to enjoy everything. I was myself a girl who loved her Barbies and baby dolls, so if that's her thing, I want her to play with those! But, at the same time, I want her to play with legos, lincoln logs, and erector sets as I did. Be the architect and construct that Barbie Dream house then use the Barbies to play in it! Use that chemistry set and telescope while carrying your baby dolls. Whatever she is interested in, I hope that we can help indulge those interests.

There are so many things out there now that weren't before. Society is changing, albeit slowly and with resistance. There are tools out there that can help us empower our daughter! If we raise her right, she may even go for some of the Mighty girls Halloween costumes, enjoy reading Geeky books for kids and get to know these kinds of (fictional) Girls, and maybe, just maybe, like to have and use books, clothes, and games such as these and these. Let her be a smart girl! Let her be the next Sheryl Sandberg!

I fully recognize kids are sponges and will pick up the behavior of Louis and myself, which means these changes need to start with us. Our habits, good and bad, will become her habits. If we want feminism and gender equality to be important to her, we need to live a life where it is important to us and we take a stand for it. I have already started acting how I would hope my daughter would act, and treating myself with the respect and self worth that I want her to have. It is harder than it should be to be brave and force others to give you the respect you deserve. I am by no means an expert. I have been told I am feisty on multiple accounts though, and I take that as the highest compliment someone could give me.

Luckily, there seem to be some good role models out there in addition to Lou and myself. I love the movement that is happening now, and feel blessed to be a part of a world that is trying to empower women (while not putting down men). Some recent media I've liked on this subject has included Joseph Gordon Lovitt, Emma Watson (of course!), and my girl Amy Poehler.

 *all images via pinterest

Who are your role models? Mothers out there, any advice? Any girls out there with advice? I'm all ears.

Patty

As a sidenote, if I were having a son, I would want to raise him with the same ideals. Obviously I'm not a parent yet, but I would imagine just from being a girl myself, that there are certain trials unique to women, and, likewise, certain trials unique to men. I recognize that genders are not the same, but must be treated with respect and equality.