34 Week Update

Hello, Hello!

Another baby update for your viewing pleasure today.

The top photo was taken of our squirmy baby who had her hands in front of her face when I was 31 weeks 1 day. The bottom left is Louis, the bottom right (the one that looks like she's pooping) is me.

How far along are you? 34 weeks 1 day, continuing the iphone bathroom photo trend.

Cravings: I hadddd to have chocolate chip pancakes a few weeks ago. I didn't have them and I wanted them for days.  It was strange, not just like I normal urge, like I couldn't be satiated until I had pancakes. Lou's pancakes.

Weight Gain: Holding around 10-12 lbs. Doctor says it's fine and I don't ask for a number.

Stretch Marks: Yea.... which stinks because I haven't gained that much weight. I am prone to them, and there's not much I can do about it now. I do use creams and oils daily.

Favorite moment this week: This was right around Thanksgiving, but Lou said something like how he wants to raise her so she'll turn out exactly like me, because I'm strong. And I was just so completely moved by that.

Fears: All the previous ones, like at 20 weeks, and more. I just want to meet her and see that she's healthy and I didn't mess her up somehow in my body. I worry about how to raise a good person. I also worry that this pelvis pain won't go away and that I'll never be able to wear contacts again... vain, but true.  

General mood: So much going on. Excited, Impatient :-) 

Sleep: I'll let you know once I start sleeping again... Seriously hard to get comfortable, insomnia, and potty breaks. 

Things I was surprised by: Ohh it would be TMI for the internet. 

Things I am most looking forward to: Just meeting her, having her here, our new family.

What I think is really cool and crazy: That she is almost here!

Wedding Ring on or off:  Still on, still too big. 

Food Aversions: Lots... not because I don't like the taste. Heartburn and nausea always&forever. 

Maternity Clothes: Yep... lots of dresses. The elastic waist band on pants tends to slip down. 

Gender: A little girl! :) 

Nursery:  Yep - mostly done. I revealed most of it here.

So soon... It's so hard to wait! I just want to speed up time... to meet her and get my body back! 41 days if she comes on her due date!

Patty

Nursery Reveal-ish

Me a few months ago: "I don't want a theme or to spend a ridiculous amount on nursery stuff."

Lou: "Ok"

Me now: "I know I said I didn't want to do a theme or decorate but....."

Lou <<eyeroll>>

So it kind of just happened, but Louis and I feel that it is very important to instill an appreciation (and hopefully love) of nature. And there is actually a ton of stuff right now that is woodland animal themed, which works out really nice (and is stinkin' adorable!). So while we're not going full-on theme, we did end up choosing a lot of items that are nature themed.

We were very lucky in that we acquired a crib, glider, and dresser from Lou's Aunt (thanks Cina!). The changing table / dresser / cat lounger was a medium blue, and the rest of the pieces were cream. We decided on Spring Green by Behr and it ended up perfect. The walls are light and bright, and not too vanilla. We got fabric from Joanns to reupholster the glider (Lou went with me, because he is a TROOPER. Boys going to craft stores with you, that's love.) The fabric was blue and green and black leaves and it ended up tying the room together perfectly. I have a sewing machine and knew the basics of sewing. I wanted something to cover the nice fabric that was on the cushions, and have something that I could remove easily to wash and launder if it gets all baby-bodily-fluids-y. I made most of the cushions pillow case style, using a tutorial I found over at Katie's blog. It was easy peasy and I think really ties the room together now. I used this same tutorial to create a changing cover made of vinyl, which I'm hoping will be much easier for clean ups. Let's see how they hold up :-)

Mary gave us the book rack (and most of the books in it) to hopefully get our little reader started. I think this is what Lou and I are most looking forward to doing first with our little girl. 

The blanket was a handmade gift from Toni & Frank, a friend of Louis' family. The Owl, fox, two dogs, and dolly, are gifts from Elaine. The Pink and yellow bunny is a gift from Seve - Future AUNT! The Raccoon is a present from my cousin Nicole. And the Mickie & Minnie I picked up on a whim shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I think she's got a decent sized collection started!

We're waiting to put the crib sheets on because, well, cats. I prematurely put a changing cover on early and the boys have loved resting on the changing table. It's all hair and is going to need to get washed again, already :) We're thinking white sheets will be easy to clean and bleach, and go well in the light green room. 

I did these paintings with cheapo Michaels acrylic paint and canvases, and are loosely based off of images I saw on Pinterest. I am definitely a novice, but I had fun and it was a nice way to relieve stress. 

I made a waterproof cover for the changing table using some fabric from Joanns and using a similar but modified tutorial of the pocket pillow. The handles we scored from Etsy.

Louis and I also made some car seat blankets from this tutorial. Pretty cute, I hope they work out!

Still a few things to get and do... like curtains and crib skirts and diapers etc, but I think that's mostly anxiety over not feeling prepared for a baby.  

We are getting so excited to bring this girl home, and feel so grateful that we have such a great support group of family and friends to bring her into this world to.

Patty

Hospital Visit - Questions to Ask

So in an effort to try to have a feeling of control with all the unknowns coming up in my life, I resort to lists. My husband assures me this is endearing, but I think that may just mean he's extra scared of my crazy pregnancy hormones. But, in any case, here is a list I came up for touring our hospital.

Questions to Ask on Hospital Tour

1. If I believe I am in labor, where will I initially be examined? Will I have to wait in a general waiting area, triage, or will I be brought to a private room?

2. How many births take place here on average, each day?

3. What percentage of women here have c-sections?

4. Do you utilize students or residents?

5. Are there any situations that may take me away from my birth partner?

6. Are there any restrictions on who is allowed in the room during birth? How many people can be with me?

7. How comfortable is the hospital with natural births?

8. Am I able to avoid having an IV upon entering, and have a Hep Lock instead? (or nothing at all)

9. Can I eat and drink during labor? If so, what?

10. How often are you fetal monitoring? And what types of fetal monitoring are available? telemetry? Wifi?

11. Can I walk and move around during labor? Am I just allowed to walk around my room? If I can walk around elsewhere, show me where laboring mothers walk.

12. Is there a tub or shower available for me during labor? Is it in my room, or shared by the entire floor? If it is shared, how often are women are turned away from using it because someone beat them to it?

13. Is there a hospital photographer available for infants and new borns?

14. What positions do you allow mothers to give birth?

15. What birthing tools are available? Birth balls, birth stools, etc?

16. If I share a room, does my baby have to go in the nursery?

17. Will I be in one room during my entire stay, or will I be moved to a separate postpartum room?

18. Will I have a private tub or shower for my postpartum room, or will I have to share?

19. Will I have to share a room with another family?

20. What is your policy on baby care immediately after birth? If my baby needs to be checked, weighed, or placed in a heater - will he be taken out of my room? Or will the examinations take place in my room?

21. Make sure to assess the rooms. Do you feel comfortable there?

22. Where will your birth partner sit and sleep during your stay? Have them try out the chairs.

23. How does the hospital support breastfeeding? Who will be there to guide you, shortly after your baby is born? Is support offered seven days a week?

24. Does the hospital support supplementing breastfeeding with formula?

25. Does the hospital support formula feeding?

26. Can I have my child immediately placed skin to skin after a c-section?

27. Can I choose to breastfeed immediately after a c-section?

28. Is there a newborn intensive care unit (NICU)?

29. Are there any situations where my baby would need to be transferred to another facility?

30. What security measures are there? Do people have to be buzzed in, are there security guards, and is a device placed on your tiny baby to make sure he can not leave the floor?

31. Are there specific hours for visiting? Do you allow young children to visit?

32. Does the hospital encourage the baby rooming in with the parents, or do they encourage the baby to stay in the nursery?

33. Is there access to the Internet?

34. Is there valet? At what times?

35. Will we have a TV?

36. Is there a CD or MP3 player in the labor room?

37. Do you have an option for a special "stork dinner" during our stay?

38. Is there a cafe? What time does the hospital kitchen close?

39. What time of day does discharge generally occur? Families are often allowed to stay 48 hours post vaginal delivery, and 4 days post c-section.

40. What follow-up support do you offer for new parents? Can I call, at any time, if I have questions or need emotional support?

41. Does the hospital use an enema?

42. Does the hospital shave you?

43. Can I wear earrings, contacts, and nail polish?

44. Can father sleep in same room?

45. Does hospital provide infant photography? If so, how much does it cost?

46. What is the nurse to patient ratio? When do nurses switch shifts?

Anyway, I hope these questions help all other expectant mothers out there! They helped ease my mind (a very small bit, but it does help!). Patty

On Dreams, Infertility, and Marriage: Part 2

*This is the continuation of our journey to get pregnant. For Part I, go here. 

Though thoroughly grief stricken by the news, as my doctor said, "You will never have children," I was overwhelmed by the love and support Lou showed me.  I was still excited for a future together, because I knew Lou would be in it and everything else would fall into place. Things would be alright, as long as we were together.

I did my homework on PCOS. I learned a lot, holistically, about nutrition. I stopped thinking of my situation as unfair, and saw it more of a greater challenge to overcome. Was it fair I couldn't eat like a normal person and my imbalances led to infertility? No, not at all. But there are far greater trials that others endure. I focused on my self, and learned to listen to my body. (And I tried very hard to pass up the homemade pasta my Italian fiance cooked up). Weight dropped, not easily, but with hard work, determination, cardio, and a whole lot of sugar snap peas. I lost about 20 pounds prior to our wedding. My skin was clearer, and my periods were regular and did not leave me vomiting and in debilitating pain as they previously had, and I had more energy.

When we got married, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally in the best place of my life.

We talked about my condition, and about using birth control. (I had been on it because the progesterone helps to regulate the cysts). Given my PCOS, and damaged organs, we decided that we would leave a child up to fate. I would try to continue to take care of my condition naturally. Maybe children would come, maybe they wouldn't, but either way Louis and I would face what would come, together. 

About three months after our wedding I was feeling miserable. I won't lie, the honeymoon definitely did impact my lifestyle, old habits die hard. I struggled when I got back to get back on the bandwagon. I thought I was managing alright with the modified diet and exercise, but my acne was back with vengeance and the weight was coming back. My period was 8 weeks late, but I was no stranger to that, often going several months without my friend Flo. My period was so irregular that in college I frequently went to the school nurse to get medication to force my period to come. They would do a blood test confirming I wasn't pregnant then give me a shot to force menstruation.  I was expecting the same thing from my current doctor. I took several (at least half a dozen) pee-pregnancy tests anyway, because I am neurotic like that. All negative. Of course they were. I "could never get pregnant," as my doctor so bluntly told me. So I went back to the doctor for the shot.

Again, I took a blood test. The next day I received a phone call at my desk. 

I was pregnant. 

I was shocked.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude that I could have a baby.

I was terrified because I was so confident I couldn't get pregnant, I had still been drinking.

I was overwhelmed, excited, happy, scared, and couldn't wait to tell Lou.

I had gotten the call late in the afternoon, on May 29, 2014, the anniversary of the day Lou proposed. He had already surprised me with flowers and a card, so after work I raced to pick up a card. Instead of a 'happy anniversary' card, I chose a 'happy father's day card.' I was all nerves and excitement as I drove home to tell him the news. 

It's important to note that Louis had his wisdom tooth removed that day, after dropping off my gift. His mother dropped him off at home and that's where he was waiting for me, thoroughly medicated up.  It was in this state, in delirious confusion, I gave him the card.  As I waited for his feedback I nervously held my belly, as if I could give him his daughter now. After several moments of nothing, I asked, "So what do you think about becoming a dad so quickly?"

That got his dazed attention, I could see some of the focus coming back to his eyes as he looked at me and said, "What?? Really?!"

He broke out in a wide green and hugged me hard and said, "We got this."

It may not have been how we planned it, but then again, when is it really ever our plan? And now, we cannot be more excited to meet her. Our daughter. In 76 short days!

Patty

28 Weeks

                                                                              How far along are you? 28 weeks!

Cravings: None. I get hungry every 4-5 hours and can't eat big meals, but that's about it. 

Weight Gain: 13 pounds. Oh  vey. I have still been using myfitnesspal (username plooty222 if you're on there) and have been trying to keep within reason. 

Stretch Marks: Still no, fingers still crossed!

Favorite moment this week: When I overheard Lou telling his coworker about how I told him I was pregnant. Major feels! 

Fears: I'm very worried about the hospital stay. I don't want to stay 48 hours. I would do a home birth but I am terrified something might go wrong.  Still worried about raising a person who has good morals, is intelligent, and kind.

General mood: Happy, excited, still exhausted, and always anxious :-) 

Sleep: Nope. Up 3-4 times still to pee. Now accompanied by hip pain (caused by relaxin, a hormone which makes hips more flexible during pregnancy). Those body pillows they make fun of pregnant women for? Yea, I broke down and bought one. No regrets here.  It still isn't a blast sleeping though, but the good news is I'll be more used to getting very little sleep without any caffeine by the time she gets here :-)

Things I was surprised by: How surreal it feels. It doesn't feel like real life yet.

Things I am most looking forward to: Meeting her. Seeing Louis with her. Introducing her to our pets and watching her grow.

What I think is really cool and crazy: Feeling her move is just out of this world. I love it.

Wedding Ring on or off:  Still on, still too big. Weird, right? 

Food Aversions: Coffee and spicy, and I really don't like the smell of chicken cooking.

Maternity Clothes: Yes, lots of dresses with my old sweaters/cardigans (not buttoned). A lot of hand me downs from my cousin and Old Navy sale stuff. 

Gender: A girl! I am really happy we found out because it helps me to bond with her, we call her by her name at home!

Nursery:  The art is up! Just need sheets, knobs, and a rug. We tried to get closet doors but evidently the genius who re-did our house made the closet with the funkiest measurements.... so custom doors it is! We may just put up a curtain for now.

3rd trimester. I can't believe it. Any advice or words of wisdom? I'm freaking out a little right now!

Patty

On Dreams, Infertility, and Marriage: Part 1

For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to be a mom. Specifically, my mom. She was, and is, my biggest role model. Smart, successful, funny, and kind. The whole package. She somehow managed to be a rock star in a profession that was, and still is, mostly male, while also helping us succeed at home. She always helped us with homework, got us to all our lessons and practices, cooked us a home cooked meal, and still managed to find time to make baked goods for our class and sew us our Halloween costumes. And while I strove to create a career I could be proud of and make decisions and live each day to the moral code in which my parents instilled, my biggest dream was of becoming a mother. My biggest fear my whole life was not being able to be a mother.

Growing up, I was an active child, always involved in sports and was relatively good at them, though I will admit my clumsiness did cause many injuries which impacted my abilities. Around puberty I noticed changes. I gained weight, developed acne, and had horribly debilitating irregular periods that, when they came, would leave me vomiting, gasping for air, and in tears. My OB put me on birth control, which did seem to help slightly. But my fear lingered and I always felt that there was still something wrong. I'm not sure if it was denial, or paranoia of my biggest fear coming true, but being on birth control and not asking any other questions was how I handled the situation for over a decade. I dealt with the frustrating weight, acne, and one week a month of agony in blissful ignorance.

I continued to strive to be like my mother. I pursued a career in the sciences and found success. I had a career I was proud of and lived with what I hoped was a strong moral code. I was proud of the life I lived. As Louis and I became serious, I thought about the next step. What I would have to do next if I wanted to become the mom I always wanted to be. Not just a mother, or someone wrapped up in a career that did not have enough room for a child, but a mom who was able to be physically and mentally there. Louis and I moved to upstate NY after making the decision that that is where we wanted to raise a family and I could acquire a job that would be more conducive to raising a child.

Soon after the move, I needed to see a doctor. My new doctor asked a lot of questions. She wanted a lot of tests done. She wanted those answers. She wanted to open my Pandora's box.

I remember getting those results in a way I would imagine one would have an out of body experience. I can see myself that day receiving the news that I would never be a mother, crumpling to the floor, dissolving in tears, and a lifetime of dreams disappearing before me. My heart was broken. The doctor continued on stressing that my uterus was scarred from cyst damage and eggs would never attach well. I would never have a baby, a blend of Louis and I, to raise. 

Later that night as we laid in bed, puffy eyed and exhausted from crying, Lou asked me to marry him. Vowing to love, cherish, and comfort me. Promising to always be by my side. We had our love, he said, that was all he wanted. Being loved so deeply by Louis gave me the strength to continue. To see the light and the future we could have together. It may not be what we envisioned, but we would do it together. My love for him, gave me the courage to not only accept our future is beyond our control, but embrace it. It was in my darkest moment that I discovered the most beautiful moment of my life.

A week later, in the midst of a storm, Louis bent down on one knee and gave me a ring. The mist was just rising by the time I finished crying from joy, and accepted. I accepted his love and promise. I accepted our future. And I learned perhaps the meaning of marriage before even being married: 

"Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." 

It is a strange, beautiful life we are lucky to be a part of, isn't it?

Patty

Be Okay

I'm having a pretty rotten week over here, honestly. I'm trying my hardest to remember that I have the love of a great man, a terrific lot of furbabies to come home to, an already amazing daughter, a family I love and cherish and am lucky enough to live close to, friends I adore and respect, a warm house to come home to, and the God given intelligence to make more of my situation. If there it had to be any aspect of my life to suck, I'm happy that it's work, ya know?

So while work may be the pits, after maternity leave, I'll figure it out. I'll be ok. You will be, too. It will be okay. 

Patty

Day 6 - Part 2

We spent the rest of our last evening taking a lot of goofy pictures, going to Downtown Disney, and eating at Raglan Road. Where there was even live Irish Dancers performing on an elevated stage in the center of the restaurant. The food was good, the company was great, and the honeymoon could not have gotten any better. We were very fortunate to start off our marriage with such a lovely trip, that we both fondly recall often.  We already talk about how much fun our anniversary trips will be!

Patty