Some Things I Believe Right Now (#1)

This is a blog series I've seen in a few of my favorite blogs (Freckled Italian and Little Things & Curiosities) and I've always found them... soul refreshing.

that lavender baths everyday are exactly the type of indulgence I can support in my life

requesting flowers from your husband doesn't make the flowers any less beautiful or sweet when they arrive on your table, thoughtfully chosen by your 3 year old daughter

some stories are ok to re-tell everynight, and those moments of rocking your daughter to sleep are so sweet, and pure, and tiring they are to be cherished. even when she giggles as she toots on you, especially then.

remembering where you were in your life, and who you used to be, when you met your partner is important...especially when you talk and see how much you've changed and how far you've come

second breakfast... can i get a hec yea from all the pregnant ladies on this one?

that it's ok to wish for time to speed up so you don't have to be pregnant anymore, but simultaneously want it to last forever so you can cherish one on one time with your first baby as a family of 3

that it's ok to stop making an effort with some people and focus on others, or yourself

that listening to the same playlists you did 10 years ago and be completely ok with the fact your favorite music is still the same is completely fine

that worrying about growing older is natural and can be healthy, and to focus on self care and your body is important

it's ok to literally forget how old you are for at least 5 minutes yesterday... true story. I'm 32 I finally remembered

that you should always accept offers to travel back in time to see dinosaurs in your daughters time machine, but that when you travel back to the renaissance you should expect POOP everywhere

25 Weeks

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is different about pregnancy round 2. From the starters, this pregnancy took us about 8 months to happen...it involved many tears and one vacation to cheer me up.  I've written on infertility before, and PCOS I am realizing is such a large part of my life and my mental state. So instead of being a happy, newly-wed surprise, this little babe was quite planned. 

I can honestly say I felt implantation, and subsequently had felt a headache coming on a few days before I got my positive blue lines at 10dpo. Literally the only symptoms I've had was a terrible head cold I couldn't shake (for like 3 months), a little more fluid, and... that's it. Mild nausea but nothing some lemon water or a few preggo drops couldn't counter. I've definitely been peeing more too, but otherwise... it's been not bad. I still can attest that I don't particularly care for the physicalness of being pregnant, I am SO beyond grateful to be pregnant!  My heart is so full at the idea of giving Lanie a companion, or just someone on her team, for the rest of her life. Someone who understands exactly how she grew up and can love her in a way that no one else can.  And then there's the whole other part of my heart that is just SO excited to meet another little soul that will be a member of our family.... I can't wait to know what he- yes HE- is going to be like. What is voice sounds like, his hobbies are, his first words, his favorite songs, and just who he becomes. I am so excited at the privilege of being a mom to someone else. I am so excited to expand my little family, my favorite people, and make more memories.

I want to keep another record of the pregnancy, because I find myself wishing I had recorded more with Lanie when she was a baby, and while I was pregnant. So here goes!

Yes, iphone selfies are back - and with a filter because I could really use a tan

How far along are you? 25 weeks! Only 105 days left exactly, but who's counting? I am starting to feel VERY pregnant at this point. Almost (kinda) the third trimester, just a little more! I am SO impatient! I think the 8 months of waiting to get pregnant definitely added to some of that impatience. 

Cravings: Nothing in particular? I get ravenous by lunch though. 

Weight Gain: This is a sore subject... in my last pregnancy I had gained about 8-10 pounds at this point. I actually lost about 12 lbs in the beginning part of this pregnancy, and am back up 3. That back up 3 is about 13 more than what I weight this time last time though. I ended up gaining about 20 lbs when Lanie was 1-2. Not cool, stress! I am trying to keep my weight gain this pregnancy to no more than 10 or so. Hoping 5 months of maternity leave will help get me back into shape! I am SO excited to have discovered a way of eating that works for my body (and for PCOS). I might do a post on that at some point. 

Stretch Marks: Nothing new... yet... But hello spider/varicose veins are back already!

Favorite moment this week: When Lanie tells the baby 'the sun is up baby, it's time to wake up!" and I make a hand puppet and she holds 'the baby's hand'

Fears: Finding a nanny and child care. Hoping the delivery is ok and that the baby is born healthy and I don't die. I also worry about how Lanie and our family will adjust. We have such a good thing, I just am staying positive that it can only get better :) 

General mood: So, so exhausted. I go to sleep as soon as Lanie does (between 7-8pm) and wake up at 5. Surprisingly I wasn't tired at Disney and only drank 1 coffee (if that!). I think the walking gave me energy....and the sun. The snow and rain are probably not helping. But I have definitely been more tired this go around. I'm really happy though, this pregnancy...not having the stress of having to start a new job, move, and sell a house, all withing a month of becoming a new parent... well it's been great not having that stress. 

Sleep: Like.a.log. Get up 1-2 times to pee. I'm wiser this go around too, I don't drink as much in the afternoon as I do in the morning.

Things I was surprised by: How nervous I still am to be a mom again. I thought I'd be more confident this time. I'm not nervous about holding a baby or changing a baby or even knowing what kind of cry he has, but just how I will mother a boy. Not that I will love him any differently, but I just don't have the experience of having been a boy to fall back on to help guide me.  

Things I am most looking forward to: Holding him and Lanie in my arms, in Lou's arms. Watching Lanie and him grow up. Ugh, I think I'm going to be total waterworks.

What I think is really cool and crazy: It still blows my mind I am literally growing a baby in me. The novelty has not worn off!

Wedding Ring on or off:  Still on, still too big. 

Food Aversions: Chicken again. 

Maternity Clothes: OH yes. Since 12 weeks for pants. Lots of non- maternity dresses and shirts I can get away with wearing though, most of that is because flowy styles are en vogue (and something I gravitated towards post pregnancy with Lanie)

Gender: A BOY! 

Nursery:  The room was already painted a minty-greeny-blue. We're keeping the bed in there so it's a bit tight, but I'm sure he'll end up in the pack n' play in our bedroom the first months-year anyway. I ordered different knobs for his dresser, the same dresser we used for Lanie's room. We ordered foxes for Lanie from the etsy shop LilandJill and they were so great to work with I contacted them again for this order too. We saying he will have a 'nautical' theme, but really I just liked all the cute sailor-y type outfits from Gap baby right now. So we're framing a map of the Mediterranean we have, and an oceanic Japanese print too. Nothing too crazy. Buying boy clothes on the other hand... all I can say is Gap LOVES me right now.

So that's it for now.  Not going to promise another update, but maybe I'll do one in a month. I'm sure I'll want to read it if we ever have another baby. 

And just for fun... 24 weeks with Lanie (left) vs. 25 weeks with baby boy (right - short hair)... definitely bigger this time around!