Some Things I Believe Right Now (#1)

This is a blog series I've seen in a few of my favorite blogs (Freckled Italian and Little Things & Curiosities) and I've always found them... soul refreshing.

that lavender baths everyday are exactly the type of indulgence I can support in my life

requesting flowers from your husband doesn't make the flowers any less beautiful or sweet when they arrive on your table, thoughtfully chosen by your 3 year old daughter

some stories are ok to re-tell everynight, and those moments of rocking your daughter to sleep are so sweet, and pure, and tiring they are to be cherished. even when she giggles as she toots on you, especially then.

remembering where you were in your life, and who you used to be, when you met your partner is important...especially when you talk and see how much you've changed and how far you've come

second breakfast... can i get a hec yea from all the pregnant ladies on this one?

that it's ok to wish for time to speed up so you don't have to be pregnant anymore, but simultaneously want it to last forever so you can cherish one on one time with your first baby as a family of 3

that it's ok to stop making an effort with some people and focus on others, or yourself

that listening to the same playlists you did 10 years ago and be completely ok with the fact your favorite music is still the same is completely fine

that worrying about growing older is natural and can be healthy, and to focus on self care and your body is important

it's ok to literally forget how old you are for at least 5 minutes yesterday... true story. I'm 32 I finally remembered

that you should always accept offers to travel back in time to see dinosaurs in your daughters time machine, but that when you travel back to the renaissance you should expect POOP everywhere

25 Weeks

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is different about pregnancy round 2. From the starters, this pregnancy took us about 8 months to happen...it involved many tears and one vacation to cheer me up.  I've written on infertility before, and PCOS I am realizing is such a large part of my life and my mental state. So instead of being a happy, newly-wed surprise, this little babe was quite planned. 

I can honestly say I felt implantation, and subsequently had felt a headache coming on a few days before I got my positive blue lines at 10dpo. Literally the only symptoms I've had was a terrible head cold I couldn't shake (for like 3 months), a little more fluid, and... that's it. Mild nausea but nothing some lemon water or a few preggo drops couldn't counter. I've definitely been peeing more too, but otherwise... it's been not bad. I still can attest that I don't particularly care for the physicalness of being pregnant, I am SO beyond grateful to be pregnant!  My heart is so full at the idea of giving Lanie a companion, or just someone on her team, for the rest of her life. Someone who understands exactly how she grew up and can love her in a way that no one else can.  And then there's the whole other part of my heart that is just SO excited to meet another little soul that will be a member of our family.... I can't wait to know what he- yes HE- is going to be like. What is voice sounds like, his hobbies are, his first words, his favorite songs, and just who he becomes. I am so excited at the privilege of being a mom to someone else. I am so excited to expand my little family, my favorite people, and make more memories.

I want to keep another record of the pregnancy, because I find myself wishing I had recorded more with Lanie when she was a baby, and while I was pregnant. So here goes!

Yes, iphone selfies are back - and with a filter because I could really use a tan

How far along are you? 25 weeks! Only 105 days left exactly, but who's counting? I am starting to feel VERY pregnant at this point. Almost (kinda) the third trimester, just a little more! I am SO impatient! I think the 8 months of waiting to get pregnant definitely added to some of that impatience. 

Cravings: Nothing in particular? I get ravenous by lunch though. 

Weight Gain: This is a sore subject... in my last pregnancy I had gained about 8-10 pounds at this point. I actually lost about 12 lbs in the beginning part of this pregnancy, and am back up 3. That back up 3 is about 13 more than what I weight this time last time though. I ended up gaining about 20 lbs when Lanie was 1-2. Not cool, stress! I am trying to keep my weight gain this pregnancy to no more than 10 or so. Hoping 5 months of maternity leave will help get me back into shape! I am SO excited to have discovered a way of eating that works for my body (and for PCOS). I might do a post on that at some point. 

Stretch Marks: Nothing new... yet... But hello spider/varicose veins are back already!

Favorite moment this week: When Lanie tells the baby 'the sun is up baby, it's time to wake up!" and I make a hand puppet and she holds 'the baby's hand'

Fears: Finding a nanny and child care. Hoping the delivery is ok and that the baby is born healthy and I don't die. I also worry about how Lanie and our family will adjust. We have such a good thing, I just am staying positive that it can only get better :) 

General mood: So, so exhausted. I go to sleep as soon as Lanie does (between 7-8pm) and wake up at 5. Surprisingly I wasn't tired at Disney and only drank 1 coffee (if that!). I think the walking gave me energy....and the sun. The snow and rain are probably not helping. But I have definitely been more tired this go around. I'm really happy though, this pregnancy...not having the stress of having to start a new job, move, and sell a house, all withing a month of becoming a new parent... well it's been great not having that stress. 

Sleep: Like.a.log. Get up 1-2 times to pee. I'm wiser this go around too, I don't drink as much in the afternoon as I do in the morning.

Things I was surprised by: How nervous I still am to be a mom again. I thought I'd be more confident this time. I'm not nervous about holding a baby or changing a baby or even knowing what kind of cry he has, but just how I will mother a boy. Not that I will love him any differently, but I just don't have the experience of having been a boy to fall back on to help guide me.  

Things I am most looking forward to: Holding him and Lanie in my arms, in Lou's arms. Watching Lanie and him grow up. Ugh, I think I'm going to be total waterworks.

What I think is really cool and crazy: It still blows my mind I am literally growing a baby in me. The novelty has not worn off!

Wedding Ring on or off:  Still on, still too big. 

Food Aversions: Chicken again. 

Maternity Clothes: OH yes. Since 12 weeks for pants. Lots of non- maternity dresses and shirts I can get away with wearing though, most of that is because flowy styles are en vogue (and something I gravitated towards post pregnancy with Lanie)

Gender: A BOY! 

Nursery:  The room was already painted a minty-greeny-blue. We're keeping the bed in there so it's a bit tight, but I'm sure he'll end up in the pack n' play in our bedroom the first months-year anyway. I ordered different knobs for his dresser, the same dresser we used for Lanie's room. We ordered foxes for Lanie from the etsy shop LilandJill and they were so great to work with I contacted them again for this order too. We saying he will have a 'nautical' theme, but really I just liked all the cute sailor-y type outfits from Gap baby right now. So we're framing a map of the Mediterranean we have, and an oceanic Japanese print too. Nothing too crazy. Buying boy clothes on the other hand... all I can say is Gap LOVES me right now.

So that's it for now.  Not going to promise another update, but maybe I'll do one in a month. I'm sure I'll want to read it if we ever have another baby. 

And just for fun... 24 weeks with Lanie (left) vs. 25 weeks with baby boy (right - short hair)... definitely bigger this time around!

Four.

Four years ago Louis and I stood in front of our closest friends and family and became a family. I couldn't imagine at that time our lives would be where we would be today, and am so grateful. In the few short years I've been married, I can tell you marriage is not easy. It is a constant battle of changing, being true to yourself, but also making the effort to change together, towards each other.

“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.  And when it subsides you have to make a decision.  You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.  Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathless, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion… That is just “being in love” which any fool can do.  Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

May your roots grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms fall from your branches, you find out that you are one tree, and not two." - Louis de Bernieres

We chose to dance to "The Curse," which was, in retrospect, a very longgggg song to pick for someone who doesn't like the spotlight and doesn't dance very well. There is a line, 'after thousands of years, what a face to wake up to.' And I think, it is an odd song, but I think we both felt like meeting each other was when we woke up and our hearts started beating. The original "woke" moment, if you will. The video is beautiful, if you have a chance to watch the animation of it. 

Happy Anniversary, Lou. Thanks for choosing me, everyday. 

Spring Tease

There is absolutely nothing like a brief preview of spring that literally puts a little spring back in your step.

Windows open, shoes muddy, eyes sparkling. Spring, we're ready whenever you want to officially come!

Back again

I've been thinking about this little corner of the interwebs I have for some time. I love that I've captured my first pregnancy so well here in a way that I never seem to be consistent with in a journal form. And I love the first few months of my Lanie posts. Even if I'm the only one who ever comes back and re-reads this space, I like it. So I'm bringing it back :)

Life these days, well, it's fast. And tiring. And messy. And really, really wonderful. I literally stop and look at my family and my heart fills with love. Seeing the world through a 3 year old (seriously how is she 3?!) eyes is truly magical. She learns so fast and doesn't miss a trick.

Last week we were at a trampoline birthday party, we got there and she was OFF. She LOVED it, and didn't stop for the entire hour we were in the play area. At the end, she ran directly into my arms, threw her arms around me, gave me a huge kiss, and said ,'I love you mommy!'

We've been going out a lot on the weekends, mostly errand running, so Lou can get work done. She is a blast and so observant. Saturday mornings full of coffee and donuts and Lanie and Mommy adventures. Museums, the mall, grocery shopping, play dates, her hand in mine, requests for 'No Roots' by Alice Merton, singing, and escalator rides.

Imaginative play at home I admit is not my strongest suit, and something I have a hard time coming up with creative scripts for. But we still have some good times at home, too. 'I like messes' - Lanie, is probably the most accurate statement ever made. My little pony, "powderpuff" girls, and legos have slowly replaced dinosaurs. It's the end of an era, but it's an exciting new era. Every day seems to be getting better and better, and I'm loving every moment.

(im)perfection.

today was one of those perfect mornings. 

it was perfect in a way that only a drizzly, cool, foggy morning could be. a slight refreshing chill in the air, a hazy stillness from the wake of a summer thundershower. waking up, I could see the river from our bed in second story floor of the house we rent. there was a doe in the lawn, wandering gracefully, reveling in the safety of the quiet morning.

view from down our street

the baby was cooing lightly from her crib, deep in slumber. The dogs' tail thumping, wanting me to come cuddle with her. my husbands' arm thrown haphazardly over the pillow, his glasses are still on. he was up late with the baby. his breathe comes out evenly, gently. even cats are content, satisfied now that they've eaten. they stare, fixated, on the birds outside.

most of the dishes are done, the kitchen fairly clean.  I pull out the salad he made me for lunch the previous night. a pitcher of iced coffee is waiting as well. little signs of his love, our love, everywhere. Some mornings he wakes with me and makes us eggs, but it really depends on the baby's schedule. I finished the few dishes left, watching the creek bubbling outside. honeysuckles compromise with ferns for some space by the bank. a cream of mushroom soup can props the window open a crack, letting in the cool morning air.

I want to capture these moments. the moments i'm blissfully happy and aware. I want to hold them in my heart always. I want to remember the imperfections that make this moment beautiful.

life is not perfect, but it was a perfect morning.

banksy, enjoying the quiet morning

4 months

Our little peanut is 4 months already! Actually, almost 18 weeks (this Thursday)! I can't get over how much she's changed. I want to capture every little moment and not forget.

The way she smiles when she wakes up in the morning and sees us coming to get her.

The way she stops smiling when she sees the camera, she doesn't like our phones!

The way she smiles when you lightly stroke her cheek or blow slightly at her face.

All her toots! The kid can fart!

Her little snorts and grunts and squeals. She is so chatty! Her favorite noise used to sound like "err-or" but now she almost seems to say "hi."

Her rolls! She has figured out how to roll over and does not want to be on her back. She wants to face the world!

The way she grasps who ever is holding her, and nuzzles in close when she wants to fall asleep. This is in contrast to her wanting to spread out once she is asleep though.

She loves sleeping with her hands behind her head. It's adorable.

The way she smiles so hard at Zuzu and Doc and Banksy.

The raspberries she's been blowing, and the fun she has doing them.

How awesome she is in the bathtub and how much she loves being in it. Hates getting out though!

How much fun she's having when she tries solid foods. Bananas, applesauce, sweet potatoes are the favorites so far.

She is such a joy, and I just want to bottle her little idiosyncrasies so I can remember them forever. Lou and I can't get over how much fun we're having, how lucky we are, how in LOVE we are, and how awesome our baby is.

Such a wonderful moment in life. I wish everyone this type of happiness!

Patty

Accountability

It's been such a transitional year. So many new things - new job (!), new city (!), new apartment (!), new daughter (!!!!!), new lifestyle, and, unfortunately, a new body.

I had a baby 14 weeks ago and am still coming to terms with my body now that it has changed. For some reason, I feel like I'm out of the "forgiveness range." Like the time society gives you to 'bounce back' has expired, and now I'm viewed as a 'frumpy mom.' But it's not just that, I know that I am better than the person I have been these past few months. But whine, whine, whine. I feel like that's all I'm currently doing about it. I'm half-assed logging things, half-assed working out (when I even do). I want to improve for me, not society. I want to live a long life, and be around for my daughter's children. I want to be strong enough to carry my daughter, and not depend on Louis to open jars of pickles. I want to have energy. I want to be proud of my body, and myself. I want to have a positive body image so my daughter grows up with one as well.

So I'm writing here, not to vent and whine more, but to hold myself accountable. To create a place where I remember why I'm working to love my body again. Above all, I want to be the girl I always was. The one who, when she didn't like something, she did something about it.

Patty

Lanie's Entrance

I learned the first lesson of parenthood before you even arrived, little one. And it was a tough one!

 

Some things are out of my control.

 

Oh how I wanted you to come early! I wanted to meet you so badly, and (who am I kidding) I was over being pregnant. But you made me wait, you must have known then, little one, how patience is not your mom's forte.

 

But you were worth the wait, I would wait another lifetime just to have you again.

 

So, as you prepared to arrive fashionably late, I prepared for your eviction. Your due date of January 26, 2015 came...


and went, and no amount of walking endless laps around the mall, bouncing on yoga balls, eating Indian food and dates, and chugging pineapple juice was going to make you come early. You must get your stubbornness and punctuality from me!

 

We planned an induction for January 29. We had a date with cervidil at St. Luke's at noon. Of course at this point we were certain you were staying in there and planned (ha!) on sleeping in, having a nice breakfast and playing with Zuzu, and maybe even a relaxing bath. Around 9:30 am, while shaving my legs without contacts in,  my water broke. I blindly screamed for your dad, who woke up very discombobulated. I told him to go out and take the dog to the park while I got ready. I wanted to make sure our first baby was loved and had pooped before we met you, little one! And I was very nervous as the glob was brown, and I wanted to get going early.

 

We called the doctor about the amniotic fluid being brown and then headed to the hospital early. Luckily we went in early (thanks Lanie!), as we ended up getting the largest labor and delivery room! Had we gotten there at noon as scheduled we would have been in a triage room with three other women instead of the best suite at St. Lukes... Already little one, you knew what was best for us!

We got to the room and had a nurse we had seen a week earlier (after I had a fall and was bleeding). Her name was Carol :-) I thought it was a good omen!  Louis made sure a doctor came and saw us and knew an induction was not the reason we were there. He then had the kindness to sit patiently and help me organize our bags the way I wanted, like the neurotic freak I am. I walked around the large room a bit before they came in and checked me, pausing a few times when contractions came.

 In the weeks leading up to labor, I wondered, as I'm sure most women do, what contractions will feel like, and what will happen on delivery day. I had done copious amounts of webmd-ing and googling, and still I find it hard to describe. I've had my fair share of awful menstrual cramps, and it was like those, only more intense. Louis was the sweetest and would kindly do as I requested and not talk to me during them (even when I rudely put my hand up 'talk to the hand style').

When my labor wasn't progressing the doctor came to try to break my water again, just in case it wasn't all the way broken. Realizing it had broken all the way, he decided to put me on pitocin. This was largely to get the labor progressing further as your heart rate wasn't great and the amniotic fluid was contaminated with meconium (little pooper, you are!). Once the pitocin hit, contractions got real. They came hard and fast. They're not kidding when they say you can't walk or talk through them, and Louis had to help me stay standing when I was trying to get from the bathroom to the bed and they came. I wanted (and received, bless his heart) and epidural. Those are lovely lovely things. I highly recommend them! Louis recommends them as well :-) it was worth the 8 (!) times it took them to find a vein for the fluids needed with it

After about an hour or two of glorious epidural the doctor was coming in more and more frequently. He had me move positions and studied the babes heart rhythm. After about 20 minutes he left. I was only 4 cm dilated and I told Lou to go ahead and call our (chatty) realtor back. As Lou is talking to him the doctor came back and said he didn't like her heart rate, we were going in for a c section asap. I was so excited to have a csection, but I was so nervous because there was something wrong.

Lou hurriedly told our realtor he had to go, and he got scrubbed in. Even in the chaos and excitement he managed to make me laugh by putting his hat on like a Bonnet.

 

Then they carted us to the OR. They prepped the room (and me!) then Louis was able to come in and hold my hand. Then, my dear girl, you came into the world. I didn't get to see you right away, they took you and cleaned and weighed you. I told your father not to leave your side for a second in the hospital, so he went and watched and got pictures. I asked the doctor if you were ok, if you were healthy, a 40 week worry of mine, and when he told me you were perfect I could not stop crying.

 

They stiched me up and took you for the rest of your tests. You got to meet your Mimi, great grandma Nanu, and Godmother. Then they brought you back with us. And it was the best. You are the best.

 

7 lbs, 4 oz. 19 inches long. born at 4:47pm on January 29, 2015

The love I feel towards you is unlike anything I have ever known. The love I have for your father has deepened, and richened. I have already learned so much from you just from carrying you with me for all those months, and in the few short weeks I've known you.

 

Thank you for making me a mama, your mama. I love you with all my being. You are life's best.

Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter,

My beautiful, powerful, intelligent, funny, incredible girl. Your father and I feel lucky beyond words that you exist, and will be coming into our world. There are so many things I wish for you. I often think of how to balance shielding you from the world, and letting you experience it. I know I'm going to want to shield the world from you, and all of it's insensitive, cruel ways; full of evil and deceit and hurt. But then I believe that these are necessary evils, that learning about people and being exposed to things you do not want to be like, is important for you to develop who you want to be. You will need to see who you do NOT want to become. Because, my dear, there will be ugliness in you too, it is in everyone, but you will need to know how to deal with it, overcome it, and how to become a better person by not succumbing to it. I don't want to shelter you from these hardships, but rather provide you the tools for navigating these situations, individuals, and yourself. But please know, there will always be a safe harbor with your dad and I for you to come home to.

Your father and I will do the best to instill the virtues we value the most - righteousness, morality, prudence, temperance, integrity, empathy, compassion, nobility, humility, charity, kindness, diligence, and, if there's time, patience. We want you to love, with all your heart. To respect yourself, and others. To do the honest and right thing. To not be greedy and express charity. To always value your intelligence, and use it as your greatest tool, as well as greatest toy. To value others and help when you can and are able. To know your worth, and help others to see theirs as well.

There are going to be many temptations along the way, and many roads that will be easier to take. If your father and I raise you as we hope to, you will be able to navigate these hard decisions to do the right thing. I promise you, the right thing will always feel better in your soul.

I promise always to be your parent first. I make no promises about being the cool mom, buying you all the clothes and toys you want, likely I'll be forcing you to eat vegetables, play outside, turning off the tv, and calling to check up on you. But know I am doing everything I am out of love. But I do promise to make sure you are warm and nourished - mind, body, and soul, to the best that I am able.

I am so excited about our adventures together, and who you will become. I wonder every day - What hobbies will you have? What will you do with your life? What color eyes will you have? What will be your favorite book, song, and movie? And what little idiosyncrasies that you will have; the little oddities that truly shape a person.

You have already changed me so much. Of course having a child means being responsible for another life, but, before you, I didn't realize how much more important it is to be responsible for my own life. Not that I was completely irresponsible, per say, but I had a disregard and rather a disrespect for my own body and life for a long time. You've already taught me so much about treating my body better. As a woman, and a person really, there is so much pressure to be thin and sexy and the extremes to which I fought for those superficial things was not healthy. Since you, I have had to treat you, and, as a byproduct, my body, well. And while I will be the first to admit (to literally anyone who asks) that I have not really enjoyed the ailments that come with being pregnant, there are several things I've really liked. I no longer want to pump myself full of caffeine and alcohol, and keep a very restricted caloric intake. I no longer hate my body for existing in a shape that I don't want. I am, in many ways, proud of it for creating you. I haven't gained much weight with you, but I've learned to listen to my body and what it (or I suppose you!) have been craving. I hope I can keep this healthy mindset after you are born, for both of our sakes! I will promise to try my hardest so that we both have a healthy body image.

Oh, my girl, there are so many things to say, but so many more to see, hear, and appreciate. I can only hope we have a lifetime together to share them with each other, with your father, with your grandparents and aunts, and your furbaby siblings.

But oh, dear daughter, won't you please come soon?? I'd like to start enjoying these things with you on the outside sooner rather than later! (But bake away, if you must, I understand that too.)

Love,

Patty

37 Weeks

How far along are you? 37 weeks exactly, yay for my iphone photos, right?

Cravings: Just lots of water. Re-introducing spicy foods, pineapple juice, dates, raspberry leaf tea, and anything else that is supposed to induce labor...commencing...now! 

Weight Gain: Right around 15 lbs. I definitely have a 'don't tell me the actual number' policy with the nurses. They just tell me what I've gained. I can do the math, I don't need to hear it out loud. If you say it out loud, it's real.

Stretch Marks: Ugh. Yes. 

Favorite moment this week: When Lou said, "I hope she gets my toes." The things we talk about! He also told me about how he read about uterine massages. I love that he is so supportive, and I fall so much more deeply in love with him than I ever knew was possible when he says and does things like that. (He also says things like "I can't wait until you're not pregnant anymore so I don't have to listen to you." He's joking of course, trying to get reaction out of me. It works ;)) 

Fears:  I just am so eager to meet her, and I just want to know she is as healthy as possible. I won't be able to let go of this crippling anxiety I've had since May that I've somehow messed her up in there. I'm sure I'll get a whole new set of anxieties, but it will, God willing, hopefully be nice to let this one go.

General mood: Impatient! Anxious. Excited. 

Sleep: Not really, though Lou is giving me the full bed most nights and camping on the couch, which has helped considerably. I miss him though :-(

Things I was surprised by: How surreal it all still feels.

Things I am most looking forward to: Seeing a new little piece of Louis running around. I can't wait to see our pets with her, either!

What I think is really cool and crazy: That there is actually life inside me right now. That I'll get to meet her soon. It doesn't feel real.

Wedding Ring on or off:  Still on, after baby weight (and honey moon weight, and Patty gluttony weight, is off, I'm going to get it resized)

Food Aversions: Unfortunately a lot. It's not so much that I don't like things or they don't taste good. It's that my body doesn't like them and I throw them back up. Bland has been the theme of this pregnancy.  

Maternity Clothes: Oh yes. Gym clothes too. Mostly black.  

Gender: A little lady :) 

Nursery:  Yes, owls and foxes. I revealed most of it here.

Please little baby girl, think about coming a week or so early? I want to meet you so bad!

Patty

34 Week Update

Hello, Hello!

Another baby update for your viewing pleasure today.

The top photo was taken of our squirmy baby who had her hands in front of her face when I was 31 weeks 1 day. The bottom left is Louis, the bottom right (the one that looks like she's pooping) is me.

How far along are you? 34 weeks 1 day, continuing the iphone bathroom photo trend.

Cravings: I hadddd to have chocolate chip pancakes a few weeks ago. I didn't have them and I wanted them for days.  It was strange, not just like I normal urge, like I couldn't be satiated until I had pancakes. Lou's pancakes.

Weight Gain: Holding around 10-12 lbs. Doctor says it's fine and I don't ask for a number.

Stretch Marks: Yea.... which stinks because I haven't gained that much weight. I am prone to them, and there's not much I can do about it now. I do use creams and oils daily.

Favorite moment this week: This was right around Thanksgiving, but Lou said something like how he wants to raise her so she'll turn out exactly like me, because I'm strong. And I was just so completely moved by that.

Fears: All the previous ones, like at 20 weeks, and more. I just want to meet her and see that she's healthy and I didn't mess her up somehow in my body. I worry about how to raise a good person. I also worry that this pelvis pain won't go away and that I'll never be able to wear contacts again... vain, but true.  

General mood: So much going on. Excited, Impatient :-) 

Sleep: I'll let you know once I start sleeping again... Seriously hard to get comfortable, insomnia, and potty breaks. 

Things I was surprised by: Ohh it would be TMI for the internet. 

Things I am most looking forward to: Just meeting her, having her here, our new family.

What I think is really cool and crazy: That she is almost here!

Wedding Ring on or off:  Still on, still too big. 

Food Aversions: Lots... not because I don't like the taste. Heartburn and nausea always&forever. 

Maternity Clothes: Yep... lots of dresses. The elastic waist band on pants tends to slip down. 

Gender: A little girl! :) 

Nursery:  Yep - mostly done. I revealed most of it here.

So soon... It's so hard to wait! I just want to speed up time... to meet her and get my body back! 41 days if she comes on her due date!

Patty

Nursery Reveal-ish

Me a few months ago: "I don't want a theme or to spend a ridiculous amount on nursery stuff."

Lou: "Ok"

Me now: "I know I said I didn't want to do a theme or decorate but....."

Lou <<eyeroll>>

So it kind of just happened, but Louis and I feel that it is very important to instill an appreciation (and hopefully love) of nature. And there is actually a ton of stuff right now that is woodland animal themed, which works out really nice (and is stinkin' adorable!). So while we're not going full-on theme, we did end up choosing a lot of items that are nature themed.

We were very lucky in that we acquired a crib, glider, and dresser from Lou's Aunt (thanks Cina!). The changing table / dresser / cat lounger was a medium blue, and the rest of the pieces were cream. We decided on Spring Green by Behr and it ended up perfect. The walls are light and bright, and not too vanilla. We got fabric from Joanns to reupholster the glider (Lou went with me, because he is a TROOPER. Boys going to craft stores with you, that's love.) The fabric was blue and green and black leaves and it ended up tying the room together perfectly. I have a sewing machine and knew the basics of sewing. I wanted something to cover the nice fabric that was on the cushions, and have something that I could remove easily to wash and launder if it gets all baby-bodily-fluids-y. I made most of the cushions pillow case style, using a tutorial I found over at Katie's blog. It was easy peasy and I think really ties the room together now. I used this same tutorial to create a changing cover made of vinyl, which I'm hoping will be much easier for clean ups. Let's see how they hold up :-)

Mary gave us the book rack (and most of the books in it) to hopefully get our little reader started. I think this is what Lou and I are most looking forward to doing first with our little girl. 

The blanket was a handmade gift from Toni & Frank, a friend of Louis' family. The Owl, fox, two dogs, and dolly, are gifts from Elaine. The Pink and yellow bunny is a gift from Seve - Future AUNT! The Raccoon is a present from my cousin Nicole. And the Mickie & Minnie I picked up on a whim shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I think she's got a decent sized collection started!

We're waiting to put the crib sheets on because, well, cats. I prematurely put a changing cover on early and the boys have loved resting on the changing table. It's all hair and is going to need to get washed again, already :) We're thinking white sheets will be easy to clean and bleach, and go well in the light green room. 

I did these paintings with cheapo Michaels acrylic paint and canvases, and are loosely based off of images I saw on Pinterest. I am definitely a novice, but I had fun and it was a nice way to relieve stress. 

I made a waterproof cover for the changing table using some fabric from Joanns and using a similar but modified tutorial of the pocket pillow. The handles we scored from Etsy.

Louis and I also made some car seat blankets from this tutorial. Pretty cute, I hope they work out!

Still a few things to get and do... like curtains and crib skirts and diapers etc, but I think that's mostly anxiety over not feeling prepared for a baby.  

We are getting so excited to bring this girl home, and feel so grateful that we have such a great support group of family and friends to bring her into this world to.

Patty

Hospital Visit - Questions to Ask

So in an effort to try to have a feeling of control with all the unknowns coming up in my life, I resort to lists. My husband assures me this is endearing, but I think that may just mean he's extra scared of my crazy pregnancy hormones. But, in any case, here is a list I came up for touring our hospital.

Questions to Ask on Hospital Tour

1. If I believe I am in labor, where will I initially be examined? Will I have to wait in a general waiting area, triage, or will I be brought to a private room?

2. How many births take place here on average, each day?

3. What percentage of women here have c-sections?

4. Do you utilize students or residents?

5. Are there any situations that may take me away from my birth partner?

6. Are there any restrictions on who is allowed in the room during birth? How many people can be with me?

7. How comfortable is the hospital with natural births?

8. Am I able to avoid having an IV upon entering, and have a Hep Lock instead? (or nothing at all)

9. Can I eat and drink during labor? If so, what?

10. How often are you fetal monitoring? And what types of fetal monitoring are available? telemetry? Wifi?

11. Can I walk and move around during labor? Am I just allowed to walk around my room? If I can walk around elsewhere, show me where laboring mothers walk.

12. Is there a tub or shower available for me during labor? Is it in my room, or shared by the entire floor? If it is shared, how often are women are turned away from using it because someone beat them to it?

13. Is there a hospital photographer available for infants and new borns?

14. What positions do you allow mothers to give birth?

15. What birthing tools are available? Birth balls, birth stools, etc?

16. If I share a room, does my baby have to go in the nursery?

17. Will I be in one room during my entire stay, or will I be moved to a separate postpartum room?

18. Will I have a private tub or shower for my postpartum room, or will I have to share?

19. Will I have to share a room with another family?

20. What is your policy on baby care immediately after birth? If my baby needs to be checked, weighed, or placed in a heater - will he be taken out of my room? Or will the examinations take place in my room?

21. Make sure to assess the rooms. Do you feel comfortable there?

22. Where will your birth partner sit and sleep during your stay? Have them try out the chairs.

23. How does the hospital support breastfeeding? Who will be there to guide you, shortly after your baby is born? Is support offered seven days a week?

24. Does the hospital support supplementing breastfeeding with formula?

25. Does the hospital support formula feeding?

26. Can I have my child immediately placed skin to skin after a c-section?

27. Can I choose to breastfeed immediately after a c-section?

28. Is there a newborn intensive care unit (NICU)?

29. Are there any situations where my baby would need to be transferred to another facility?

30. What security measures are there? Do people have to be buzzed in, are there security guards, and is a device placed on your tiny baby to make sure he can not leave the floor?

31. Are there specific hours for visiting? Do you allow young children to visit?

32. Does the hospital encourage the baby rooming in with the parents, or do they encourage the baby to stay in the nursery?

33. Is there access to the Internet?

34. Is there valet? At what times?

35. Will we have a TV?

36. Is there a CD or MP3 player in the labor room?

37. Do you have an option for a special "stork dinner" during our stay?

38. Is there a cafe? What time does the hospital kitchen close?

39. What time of day does discharge generally occur? Families are often allowed to stay 48 hours post vaginal delivery, and 4 days post c-section.

40. What follow-up support do you offer for new parents? Can I call, at any time, if I have questions or need emotional support?

41. Does the hospital use an enema?

42. Does the hospital shave you?

43. Can I wear earrings, contacts, and nail polish?

44. Can father sleep in same room?

45. Does hospital provide infant photography? If so, how much does it cost?

46. What is the nurse to patient ratio? When do nurses switch shifts?

Anyway, I hope these questions help all other expectant mothers out there! They helped ease my mind (a very small bit, but it does help!). Patty