Accountability

It's been such a transitional year. So many new things - new job (!), new city (!), new apartment (!), new daughter (!!!!!), new lifestyle, and, unfortunately, a new body.

I had a baby 14 weeks ago and am still coming to terms with my body now that it has changed. For some reason, I feel like I'm out of the "forgiveness range." Like the time society gives you to 'bounce back' has expired, and now I'm viewed as a 'frumpy mom.' But it's not just that, I know that I am better than the person I have been these past few months. But whine, whine, whine. I feel like that's all I'm currently doing about it. I'm half-assed logging things, half-assed working out (when I even do). I want to improve for me, not society. I want to live a long life, and be around for my daughter's children. I want to be strong enough to carry my daughter, and not depend on Louis to open jars of pickles. I want to have energy. I want to be proud of my body, and myself. I want to have a positive body image so my daughter grows up with one as well.

So I'm writing here, not to vent and whine more, but to hold myself accountable. To create a place where I remember why I'm working to love my body again. Above all, I want to be the girl I always was. The one who, when she didn't like something, she did something about it.

Patty