I learned the first lesson of parenthood before you even arrived, little one. And it was a tough one!
Some things are out of my control.
Oh how I wanted you to come early! I wanted to meet you so badly, and (who am I kidding) I was over being pregnant. But you made me wait, you must have known then, little one, how patience is not your mom's forte.
But you were worth the wait, I would wait another lifetime just to have you again.
So, as you prepared to arrive fashionably late, I prepared for your eviction. Your due date of January 26, 2015 came...
and went, and no amount of walking endless laps around the mall, bouncing on yoga balls, eating Indian food and dates, and chugging pineapple juice was going to make you come early. You must get your stubbornness and punctuality from me!
We planned an induction for January 29. We had a date with cervidil at St. Luke's at noon. Of course at this point we were certain you were staying in there and planned (ha!) on sleeping in, having a nice breakfast and playing with Zuzu, and maybe even a relaxing bath. Around 9:30 am, while shaving my legs without contacts in, my water broke. I blindly screamed for your dad, who woke up very discombobulated. I told him to go out and take the dog to the park while I got ready. I wanted to make sure our first baby was loved and had pooped before we met you, little one! And I was very nervous as the glob was brown, and I wanted to get going early.
We called the doctor about the amniotic fluid being brown and then headed to the hospital early. Luckily we went in early (thanks Lanie!), as we ended up getting the largest labor and delivery room! Had we gotten there at noon as scheduled we would have been in a triage room with three other women instead of the best suite at St. Lukes... Already little one, you knew what was best for us!
We got to the room and had a nurse we had seen a week earlier (after I had a fall and was bleeding). Her name was Carol :-) I thought it was a good omen! Louis made sure a doctor came and saw us and knew an induction was not the reason we were there. He then had the kindness to sit patiently and help me organize our bags the way I wanted, like the neurotic freak I am. I walked around the large room a bit before they came in and checked me, pausing a few times when contractions came.
In the weeks leading up to labor, I wondered, as I'm sure most women do, what contractions will feel like, and what will happen on delivery day. I had done copious amounts of webmd-ing and googling, and still I find it hard to describe. I've had my fair share of awful menstrual cramps, and it was like those, only more intense. Louis was the sweetest and would kindly do as I requested and not talk to me during them (even when I rudely put my hand up 'talk to the hand style').
When my labor wasn't progressing the doctor came to try to break my water again, just in case it wasn't all the way broken. Realizing it had broken all the way, he decided to put me on pitocin. This was largely to get the labor progressing further as your heart rate wasn't great and the amniotic fluid was contaminated with meconium (little pooper, you are!). Once the pitocin hit, contractions got real. They came hard and fast. They're not kidding when they say you can't walk or talk through them, and Louis had to help me stay standing when I was trying to get from the bathroom to the bed and they came. I wanted (and received, bless his heart) and epidural. Those are lovely lovely things. I highly recommend them! Louis recommends them as well :-) it was worth the 8 (!) times it took them to find a vein for the fluids needed with it
After about an hour or two of glorious epidural the doctor was coming in more and more frequently. He had me move positions and studied the babes heart rhythm. After about 20 minutes he left. I was only 4 cm dilated and I told Lou to go ahead and call our (chatty) realtor back. As Lou is talking to him the doctor came back and said he didn't like her heart rate, we were going in for a c section asap. I was so excited to have a csection, but I was so nervous because there was something wrong.
Lou hurriedly told our realtor he had to go, and he got scrubbed in. Even in the chaos and excitement he managed to make me laugh by putting his hat on like a Bonnet.
Then they carted us to the OR. They prepped the room (and me!) then Louis was able to come in and hold my hand. Then, my dear girl, you came into the world. I didn't get to see you right away, they took you and cleaned and weighed you. I told your father not to leave your side for a second in the hospital, so he went and watched and got pictures. I asked the doctor if you were ok, if you were healthy, a 40 week worry of mine, and when he told me you were perfect I could not stop crying.
They stiched me up and took you for the rest of your tests. You got to meet your Mimi, great grandma Nanu, and Godmother. Then they brought you back with us. And it was the best. You are the best.
7 lbs, 4 oz. 19 inches long. born at 4:47pm on January 29, 2015
The love I feel towards you is unlike anything I have ever known. The love I have for your father has deepened, and richened. I have already learned so much from you just from carrying you with me for all those months, and in the few short weeks I've known you.
Thank you for making me a mama, your mama. I love you with all my being. You are life's best.
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